fight or flight

What’s the Magic Word?
graphic shows a bright blue exclamation point with arrows pointing at it on a brick wall

An acquaintance of ours is a real charmer with her friends’ children. At her house, when adults ask children for “the magic word,” they don’t answer, “Please!” 

Instead, she teaches them to answer, “Now!” And everyone dissolves into laughter. 

“Now!” from a spunky child doesn’t carry as much weight as, say, an angry manager barking orders to an employee or a firefighter at an emergency yelling instructions. 

But “Now!” gets thrown around fairly often. Our mail, our pop-up ads, and even our dentists insist they need our attention immediately. We simply must respond to this limited offer, this overdue action, this short supply. 

Manufacturing urgency where there is none is a tactic. It compels us to turn our attention to whoever shouts “Now!” the loudest. And it can be startling. 

Fear as a mode of motivation may “work” in the short term—it can really get people moving, right away—but a person can’t sustain the fear state. Fear triggers the part of our brain that wants to react quickly and prioritize survival. Maybe you’ve heard about those reactions: fight, flight, or freeze. 

But fear is not a long-term mode of persuasion. Shaping others’ behavior has to happen with their consent and participation, over time. Habit changes, for instance, can’t be ruled by fear alone: there must be something providing positive reinforcement. 

Hope, ease, intrinsic motivation—something of personal meaning must be present in any financial goal or financial habit. Otherwise, why would you do it? 

Clients, people will shout “Now!” for all sorts of market reasons. We know to be wary. The shouting can be a sign of a stampede, sell-off, or unwarranted turmoil. 

But don’t take our advice without investigating for yourself—even if we say, “Please!” 

Questions for us? You won’t get scare tactics from us. Call the shop or write. 

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Play the audio version of this post below:

What's the Magic Word? – 228Main.com Presents: The Best of Leibman Financial Services

This text is available at https://www.228Main.com/.

Tend and Befriend

© Can Stock Photo / KalengUang

One concept we hear about in the investment and financial planning world is a real downer. This is the idea that evolutionary bias may force us into unwise decisions. Supposedly, our caveman brains are stimulated by ‘fight or flight’ tendencies in the face of uncertainty or danger.

We have always believed we can learn, we are trainable, we can use reason and logic to our advantage. In other words, there is more in our heads than caveman brains. But it still irritates us when we see the implication that we humans are doomed to stupidity by evolution.

We recently read about another supposed product of evolution, a far more optimistic and different instinct.

‘Tend and befriend’ is a concept first outlined by psychologist Shelley Taylor. It refers to the instinct to reach out to those around us, to strengthen our ties to others and to care for them when threats arise. This seems to us to be the opposite of fight or flight, and is a much more helpful concept.

We do not suffer threats from saber tooth tigers anymore, but volatility in the markets, scary headlines, and viral rumors may produce the appearance of threats and danger.

Back in the early part of my career, I envisioned having clients who, if I took care of them, they would take care of me. This evolved into the belief that the better off you are, the better off we will likely be. Now we read about ‘tend and befriend.’ This strikes me as a wonderful way to think about how we strive to work with you.

Clients, if you would like to talk about this or anything else, please email us or call.