dealing with loss

When Your Household Membership Changes

photo shows a family of 5 in silhouette watching a red and yellow sunset near a bench and a tree

Momentum carries us through many of life’s relationships. Practicing traditions and routines takes all sorts of decisions off our plate. It’s a type of comfortable efficiency. Then, sometimes, a big change occurs—and things shift. We can find ourselves suddenly reconsidering decisions that we used to be able to take for granted.

I’ve seen it unfold in your lives, clients, and certainly in my own. When my wife passed, I discovered that there were aspects of my lifestyle that suited “Mark in a couple” but did not fit in my new life as “Mark on his own.”

Upon the passing of or separation from a partner, some people realize all of a sudden that what used to be a two-kayak household is now a zero-kayak household. And they’re content with that.

It can happen when the home suddenly expands, too: it’s not just the birth of children that can change a household’s makeup. Perhaps that mother-in-law suite becomes literal, or maybe an adult sibling or adult child moves in to help manage things.

No matter how the membership of a household is changing, the new dynamic will most likely bring changes to the financial texture of life for everyone involved.

  • Are there are any lifestyle expenses that now make you feel, “I could take it or leave it”?
  • Do you anticipate changing your employment situation in a way that wasn’t possible before?
  • How might your tax strategies or insurance options change in this new arrangement?

Although many recommend waiting a year (or some other interval) after a loss or change before making big decisions, there are ways to explore in the meantime. Some people find it helpful to do their own research and talk with trusted friends as they explore options. Some prefer to work on their own personal development for a spell before reviewing their choices.

When your household membership changes, there is no right or wrong way to navigate these issues. Clients, if you’d like to talk through what this may mean for you, we’re game. Please write or call.


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When Your Household Membership Changes 228Main.com Presents: The Best of Leibman Financial Services

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White-Knuckle Dreams

photo shows wooden chairs on wooden deck on a wooded lake

With decades in the financial industry, it’s been interesting to work alongside some friends and their families for years. I’ve gotten to witness many of their big milestones—and share mine, too.

Some goals have changed over time. It has happened in many different ways. Births and deaths can shift priorities. Sudden windfalls can open up opportunities and goals that once seemed unthinkable.

One quality connects a lot of the most successful goals: they stay flexible.

Is it cheating to say that a goal that changed is still a win? Well, was the birth or the death or the sudden windfall “cheating”? These questions are sort of beside the point. If life is change, a flexible mindset is the winning one.

It’s easy enough to mistake tension for focus or drive. But tense muscles don’t work as well as pliable ones. A marathon runner who cramps up, a surgeon who forgets to breathe—those are not success stories in the making.

We’ve loved getting to help clients meet those huge, lifelong dreams, of course, but there’s no romance in a dream that swallows you up. You can’t white-knuckle your way to your dreams.

We think it’s possible to set our sights high and roll with things along the way. That’s why we put so much stake in the plans and planning that go into your financial situation.

And it’s why we enjoy the work so much. Giving shape to dreams can be as thrilling as seeing them through—in fact, you can’t get there without it.

Clients, when you’re ready to talk about this or anything else, let us know.