self-love

On Roots and Wings
photo shows a bird sitting on a flowering branch

Usually when we’re talking about love at 228 Main, I’m expounding about my passion for this work: I love my work, I love talking with you, we love what we’ve got going here.

It’s another week filled with sentiments and gestures surrounding love. Whether you like or loathe the Hallmark stuff, I’m thinking a little differently about this theme.

Our financial lives are full of choices. This or that, this plan or that one. We set savings goals, retirement plans, and contingencies. You can have some of everything, but each move comes with a tradeoff. Not every area can get all of our attention. It wouldn’t be possible.

It’s not so with the principle of “love.” It’s another resource—one that compounds.

Perhaps love is about being able to look at ourselves and others, note the human complexities and contradictions, and embrace it all for what it is. That’s where freedom is, where joy is possible.

But we can’t get too precious about it, either. We’re not forever stuck on past loves; we’re not forever reaching for future loves. We hold all of it, together, as parts of ourselves. They are strengths that move with us as we navigate the present. They are gifts, tools.

American newspaper editor Hodding Carter once wrote, “A wise woman once said to me that there are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One of these she said is roots, the other, wings.”

There’s no need to hold too tightly to either our roots or our wings—just the wisdom to embrace it all as it is.

Where are you headed? Where have you been? Clients, what a joy to be on the journey with you. I do so love this work. Call or write when it’s time to connect.

Want content like this in your inbox each week? Leave your email here.

Play the audio version of this post below:

On Roots and Wings – 228Main.com Presents: The Best of Leibman Financial Services

This text is available at https://www.228Main.com/.

Don’t Talk About My Friend That Way!

People do love dramas and reality shows, but in real life, it’s not always the jealous neighbor or the loud socialite who spews the worst judgments about us. 

We’re pretty good at doing that to ourselves. 

In our financial lives, it’s easy to slip into judgment. We berate our past selves for not getting organized sooner. We doubt whether our current plan is on track or whether we will be able to handle whatever arrives tomorrow. 

There’s a trick for that. It’s free, it’s simple, and most of us have been practicing it all our lives. 

Be a better friend—to yourself.  

Kristin Neff studies the psychology of self-compassion and puts it this way: “It’s natural for us to try to be kind to the people we care about in our lives. … We comfort them when they’re going through hard times. In other words, most of us are very good at being understanding, kind and compassionate toward others. But how many of us are good at being compassionate to ourselves?” 

Financial freedom isn’t totally about what’s in your pocket. We believe that you can be a good friend to yourself—and you’ll become a better steward of your resources in the process. 

Kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness are the key ingredients in compassionate responses according to Neff. When we give ourselves time to pause and reflect, we can have more reassuring conversations with ourselves—ones that don’t end in self-sabotage or ongoing anxiety. When was the last time your inner voice was compassionate? 

  • “You know, lots of people make mistakes along the way: where can you grow from your past?” 
  • “Of course you get worried sometimes: you care deeply about your family, your legacy, your work…” 
  • “Notice how you’re jumping ahead? Maybe make a note, but then let yourself come back to what you can do right now.” 

Sure: this kind of self-talk isn’t for everyone. If that’s true for you, then try substituting my voice in your head: “Hey! Don’t you treat my friend like that!” And then let yourself off the hook. 

Friends, when you’d like to talk more, drop us a line. 

Want content like this in your inbox each week? Leave your email here.