expectations versus reality

Financial Planning, Starring You!

photo shows two dollar bills folded into hearts

Some pros rely on the idea that financial planning is a mysterious process, requiring advanced mathematics and cold, hard reasoning that mere mortals cannot achieve.

We keep seeing language to this effect across the financial services industry. Maybe you have, too?

  • “We’re the best solution for objective planning.”
  • “This is a strategic, objective process for financial freedom.”
  • “Everyone needs an objective partner to shape their plan.”

Being “objective” gets held up as a pinnacle of professionalism, but what’s so great about it? Objectivity is the idea that we’re more interested in the reality that exists beyond an individual’s experience—that truth is out there beyond one’s feelings and deliberations.

Objectivity is overrated, in our opinion.

Clients, what’s so bad about being the main focus of your own story? The objective part—the math!—should be working backwards from the goals you bring to the table.

I will never tell you how much you “should be” spending in retirement: you are the boss of your life.

I can’t know what portion of your assets “should be” more liquid: let’s talk about your mid-range goals first.

I don’t have an opinion on what your employment plans “should be”: you’re the one who has to wake up each day and make the most of it.

You are the star of this show, and it’s an honor to be here with you. Whether we’re trying to get some better lighting on things or rehearsing for what’s ahead, the focus is… you!

Clients, is it time to revisit any goals? Write or call.


Want content like this in your inbox each week? Leave your email here.

Play the audio version of this post below:

This text is available at https://www.228Main.com/.

A Loving Plan for Your Relationship with Money

photo shows a yellow sun rising above a silhouetted mountain and clouds in purple and pink below a blue sky

With another Valentine’s Day, folks are reflecting on their romantic entanglements or interests, but it’s making us think more deeply about all sorts of relationships.

What does a healthy relationship with money feel like?

We are not here to give personal advice, per se, but there seem to be some fundamental principles that could serve us well in any partnership.

1. Make way for reality.

The most important of life’s conversations require some vulnerability—and bravery. Whether we’re talking about romantic commitments, financial health, or other big relationships, everyone involved would do well to be on the same page from the get-go.

Start by getting everything relevant out on the table: face and work with the reality of your financial life. The important conversations deserve honesty, even when it’s “just” you and your money!

2. Check your expectations.

For any endeavor, idealizing a relationship can doom it in an instant. Instead, we’d recommend checking in with your expectations about money. Is baggage adding weight to a current financial issue? Does it feel like progress is coming way too slowly?

Sometimes the problem isn’t the issue itself: the problem is how we are framing the problem. Goals can be wonderful, but even as we’re playing the long game, embrace what author Lynne Twist calls “experiences of sufficiency.”

They are those moments when things feel whole and life is full of “enough.”

A meal that satisfies. Sunbeams falling across the countertop. Clothes on your back.

A plan that you allow to inspire some hope. Speaking of…

3. Use goals to light the path you’d like to take.

Not every day of a relationship will be great, but the point isn’t total control of the outcome. Security comes from having confidence that, generally, things are headed the right direction.

So what are the milestones along the way that will remind you of that? That will spark joy, serve others, or continue to connect you to what’s important?

In the end…

Love is all you need! Thanks to the Beatles for this one, but it works. In short, compassion is a great foundation for a healthier relationship with money.

If you’d like to talk about what this means for you, please write or call.


Want content like this in your inbox each week? Leave your email here.

Play the audio version of this post below:

A Loving Plan for Your Relationship With Money 228Main.com Presents: The Best of Leibman Financial Services

This text is available at https://www.228Main.com/.

Seek Perfection or Change Perception? What My Travels Taught Me

I had the great joy of heading on a trip south recently. Vacations can be tricky business, can’t they? Sometimes these breaks are a highlight for the whole family, a chance to reconnect with a partner, or a major outlay from the entertainment budget each year.

The meanings we bring to vacation can hoist the expectations. We might tell ourselves (and those around us), “You’re going to have fun whether you like it or not!”

So what did I learn on my winter vacation?

I stayed in a classic Florida hotel in a charming location, adjacent to a marina, on the water. Seeing the fish jumping and the birds fishing, feeling the sea breeze in my hair again and the sun on my face, it was lovely. Except.

Except the walls of the hotel room were quite thin. Conversation and TV sounds came through from one side, snoring from the other. It was hard not to focus on those noises. My perception was the hotel was not up to modern standards: it was not acceptable the way it was.

Then I downloaded an app for my phone, a white noise generator. In two minutes, it was as if those other noises weren’t getting in anymore. I only heard the soothing sounds of a waterfall coming from the phone.

I woke up well-rested and realized that the phone app had, for all practical purposes, thickened and insulated the walls of the hotel room. It turned a flawed vacation spot into a near-perfect one.

The lesson of the stay in the old hotel is that sometimes, we need to be intentional about changing our perception so we can change our reality. We didn’t choose the world we were born into, but we do choose how to focus our attention, where to direct our response, and thereby, how we experience and shape our world.

Clients, when you would like new ways to focus on your world, please email us or call.


Want content like this in your inbox each week? Leave your email here.

Play the audio version of this post below:

Seek Perfection or Change Perception? What My Travels Taught Me 228Main.com Presents: The Best of Leibman Financial Services

This text is available at https://www.228Main.com/.

The Great Myth of Mind-Reading

photo shows a large white question mark on a chalkboard

A friend of ours tells the story of an argument they once had with a parent. Both parties got more and more frustrated, realizing that they were not on the same page—and things were only getting more tangled.

Things escalated until the parent threw their hands up helplessly and yelled, “Listen to what I mean, not what I say!”

Funny, huh? Yet it sounds so familiar to many of us.

We do our best here at 228 Main to express ourselves clearly. We want to make our expectations known, to expedite understanding, but we know that words have their limits. When I say “chair,” you may picture a dining chair while I was thinking of a throne! When you say “retirement”… well, see where I’m going with this?

It happens in the financial news, too. Pundits think they can get into the minds of investors, to read each decision as if it were the same as an inner monologue. If anyone could read minds, though, wouldn’t a lot of people be right a little more often?

Instead, we like to remember our limits. How many resentments, how much confusion could be eased if we turned to the important people in our lives and said, “Oops! Forgot… You can’t read my mind.”

We believe an important ground rule for our work is that we will not treat each other as if we’re all mind-readers.

Clients, fair enough? With this in mind, please reach out when you’ve got anything worth mentioning—and we’ll do our best to check our understanding, together.


Want content like this in your inbox each week? Leave your email here.

Play the audio version of this post below:

This text can be found at https://www.228Main.com/.

Checking the Couch Cushions

It’s been a while, but I do remember scrounging for change—flipping over couch cushions, checking the slot at the vending machines, walking a parking lot for anything that’d been dropped or forgotten.

A paper route and other gigs soon changed my focus, and I discovered the power of steady income. Whether we’re talking about one-off opportunities or streams, there are plenty of ways to check for change in the couch cushions.

Maybe you’ve heard someone advise you, “Don’t leave money on the table.” It often comes up in negotiations or sales situations, but there are scrounge-worthy lessons for many areas of our financial lives. Some ideas we love?

  • Knowing what you need—and not just what you want or could use. This self-knowledge provides great perspective. When we keep the basics in mind, we know where the bar is. Anything above the bar is extra, bonus, a cherry on top. The practical implication is that awareness makes us more patient. If a purchase or expenditure is not an immediate need, we know we can afford the time to wait for a sale, a deal, a change of season, or any other more opportune moment. This is saving your scrounging for the right time.
  • Asking for what you’re after. You know we believe in the practice of transparency: there’s not much to be gained by withholding our goals or expectations. It gives the other parties involved—a boss considering your next raise, a mentor, a new financial advisor?—a chance to do their best for you. And if people still aren’t in alignment, wouldn’t you rather know sooner than later? This is a method of scrounging for time to work toward your goals.
  • Remembering you don’t know what you don’t know. This could be a productive conversation starter for anyone in your circle you trust. It’s something you could ask your tax professional, your employer’s human resources department, or even our office: “In your experience, what’s something I may not know that I don’t know?” There could be opportunities people wouldn’t know to think of! This is scrounging for possibilities.
  • Maximizing those matches. Yes, you know this is a favorite of ours: take full advantage of any employer match on retirement contributions. It’s more bang for your literal buck. It’s free dessert for eating a balanced meal.

We should note that we believe in leveraging opportunities: we do not believe in abusing any system to the detriment of the community. (Many of us learned our lesson in childhood: our siblings’ rooms are not fair game for scrounging the way the couch cushions are!)

There are, however, plenty of aboveboard strategies for scrounging. Opportunities abound. Which are worth it?

Clients, when you’d like to explore this topic—or anything else—write or call.


Want content like this in your inbox each week? Leave your email here.

Play the audio version of this post below:

This text is available at https://www.228Main.com/.

Financial Planning, Starring You!

photo shows rows of marquee lights in lines

Some pros rely on the idea that financial planning is a mysterious process, requiring advanced mathematics and cold, hard reasoning that mere mortals cannot achieve.

We keep seeing language to this effect across the financial services industry. Maybe you have, too?

  • “We’re the best solution for objective planning.”
  • “This is a strategic, objective process for financial freedom.”
  • “Everyone needs an objective partner to shape their plan.”

Being “objective” gets held up as a pinnacle of professionalism, but what’s so great about it? Objectivity is the idea that we’re more interested in the reality that exists beyond an individual’s experience—that truth is out there beyond one’s feelings and deliberations.

Objectivity is overrated, in our opinion.

Clients, what’s so bad about being the main focus of your own story? The objective part—the math!—should be working backwards from the goals you bring to the table.

I will never tell you how much you “should be” spending in retirement: you are the boss of your life.

I can’t know what portion of your assets “should be” more liquid: let’s talk about your mid-range goals first.

I don’t have an opinion on what your employment plans “should be”: you’re the one who has to wake up each day and make the most of it.

You are the star of this show, and it’s an honor to be here with you. Whether we’re trying to get some better lighting on things or rehearsing for what’s ahead, the focus is… you!

Clients, is it time to revisit any goals? Write or call.


Want content like this in your inbox each week? Leave your email here.

Play the audio version of this post below:

This text is available at https://www.228Main.com/.

Minding the Bears

photo shows a rocky mountain trail

One recent morning, I was lucky enough to be hiking on a mountain trail with my sister. The air was crisp and clear, the smell of the pines was thick—a beautiful day.

We came across animal tracks, then more animal tracks, on the muddy parts of the trail.

We knew before we started that there were bears in the neighborhood. (In fact, one might say we were in the bears’ neighborhood!) The tracks seemed to have the shape of claws, with a size and depth that impressed me with a desire to avoid a meeting.

It seemed as good a time as any to turn around, so we did. My senses were on high alert as we began to descend. We reached the trailhead without incident.

Later, I looked up the facts about bear attacks. Only one out of 175 million people worldwide is the victim of a fatal bear attack each year, fewer than two in the whole United States.

The danger I perceived was far larger than the actual risk involved.

This reminds me of where we are in the investment markets. It seems to be the economic equivalent of a beautiful day: the market has had a sharp rebound from the pandemic lows of 2020. Yet some are concerned about the bear (a bear market meaning, of course, a big decline).

Just as there are plenty of bears in the wooded mountains, there are regular declines in the stock market. Some estimate that 10 to 15% declines are routine each year. But fear of the bear often seems to be greater than the actual damage a bear market might do to long-term investors.

Learning to live with the ups and downs, one may benefit from long-term growth in value. But fear of a decline that proves to be temporary—and rarely truly catastrophic—may lead one to sell out long before money is actually needed, with future gains foregone.

Clients, thank you for inviting us to hike the trails of your life with you. If you would like to talk bears or mountains or markets, please email us or call.


Want content like this in your inbox each week? Leave your email here.

Play the audio version of this post below: